A breath of fresh air amidst the smog of insincerity

Admittedly there have been (& there are still) times I tried to make myself small, tried to be invisible, fade into the crowd and not stand out. Times I tried not to speak out, not speak up enthused by my passion and zest. Times I held my hands over my mouth, pushing back, stifling the words that threatened to overflow and bubble forth. I didn't want to draw attention, to rock the boat, give another viewpoint, be that 1:10, take up too much space or be a bother, wasting someone's time by drawing attention to myself. I had learnt the thin line, becoming quite skilled at threading softly over constantly cracking eggshells and trying to climb over a bar that kept moving. To speak up & out in confidence was to be a know it all, a show off. To be happy and filled with a zest for your passion and every glorious day was questioned, received with an eyebrow lift of 'why'. To not be 'soft and feminine' was to be harsh, callous and unsympathetic. To passionately speak up was to talk too much. To be firm was to not be understanding. To stand up for what you believe in or give another viewpoint that was different from the bandwagon was to be argumentative. To be me...was to take up too much space ...

... but lately I was shown that I was worth the fuss. My candid yet genuine outspoken and brash yet diplomatic demeanour was refreshing and a welcome breath of fresh air in a smog full of 'must only say the things you want to not necessarily need to hear for fear of hurting your delicate sensibilities and in doing so stifle your true growth and potential'....but lately I was shown that I was worth the fuss. My candid yet genuine outspoken and brash yet diplomatic demeanour was refreshing and a welcome breath of fresh air in a smog full of 'must only say the things you want to not necessarily need to hear for fear of hurting your delicate sensibilities and in doing so stifle your true growth and potential'.